Aurora
by Crucio93
Summary: Detective Olivia Benson's life is about to change when she falls for Jordan Aurora, who's not just her new partner but also a woman. rated M for violence and language. This is my first Fan Fic.
1. Welcome to SVU

**_Aurora_**

Summery: This story takes place after the final episode of season nine. New Detective Jordan Aurora has come aboard to take to place of Det. Chester Lake. Captain Cragen is worried though, because she has spent her entire career in the Emergency Serves Unit, better known as SWAT. He don't know how Jordan will handle the victims who, often times, are reluctant to pursue their attackers. Instead of partnering her up with Fin, he decides to move Elliot to Fin and partner Jordan up with Olivia, who he hopes can teach her the ropes of SVU. Things are going fine in their investigation until they realize they may have a serial rapist on their hands who is targeting the gay community. More so than that, Olivia must deal with the fact that she is beginning to have feeling for her new partner that go way beyond professional.

Disclaimer: They only character I own is Jordan Aurora, all others are the creations of Dick Wolf and NBC.

Chapter 1: Welcome to The Special Victims Unit

"Olivia, can I see you in my office please." Captain Cragen said. Detective Olivia Benson looked up from the file she was reading and began to rise.

"Everything alright Capt.?" she asked. She stood in front of his desk while he closed the door then motioned her to sit.

"We're getting a new Detective, to replace Lake. Coming from ESU." he said.

"Emergency Serves Unit, isn't that SWAT? They don't usually just jump over to SVU." Olivia said, regarding her Capt.

"Your right it's not very common but she made a request and they asked me to take a shot with her. Her supervisor tells me she is one of the best cops he's got and that if a job can be done right, she'll do it. I asked you in here because I'm a little concerned with how she may handle the victims and the last thing we need around here are the victims saying we are to hard or have no sympathy. That's why I'm going to partner her up with you for a little while. Elliot is going to work with Fin."

"For how long?" Olivia asked. Her and Elliot had been partners for so long it felt strange to be told she was going to have to partner up with someone else. She didn't know if she altogether liked the idea, especially if it was with someone who could be cold and hostile toward the victims they were trying to protect. She looked up at Cragen, knowing any arguments she could make would likely change nothing.

"I'm not sure really, just until I see how she takes to how things work around here. I picked you Olivia because I trust you to help her if she needs it but not to belittle her if she does anything wrong. We all learn from our mistakes, just make sure she don't make them at the expense of victims."

"I will Capt." She gave him a small nod then headed back into the squad room and attempted to finish reading the file she had been working on.

_Just great, I'm stuck teaching some hot head SWAT cop how to handle people who often times are so traumatized they can barely face their attackers. This is going to be just wonderful._

Detective Jordan Aurora walked swiftly down the hall toward the Special Victims squad room. She noticed how the people walked more calmly here then what she usually saw and thought how different this was going to be from her time spent in SWAT, or the Emergency Serves Unit, as it is properly called. Jordan paused at the door and straightened her shield and weapon holster and then pushed open the door.

"Excuse me I'm looking for Captain Cragen. I'm Detective Aurora." Jordan said to an African American man walking past her. He stopped from a moment pointing to a door on the other side of the room.

"His office is over there." he said, then turned his attention back to the file he was reading and walked away. Jordan nodded once to his retreating back then made her way over to the door and knocked twice.

"Come in" called a voice from inside. Jordan opened the door and preceded into the office.

"Hello Captain, I'm Detective Jordan Aurora reassigned from ESU. I was told to report to you today." Jordan said calmly, extending out her hand to him. He returned the shake and sat down, motioning for her to do the same. He shuffled some folders around on his desk before finally picking up a semi large file that she knew must be her own.

"Well Jordan you have quite the record here. Six years in the Marine's, says you joined right out of high school."

"Yes sir"

"Marine's had you pegged for career military but you left to join ESU. Spent eight years there and just recently went for your detective's badge. Say's you requested SVU. I've got to ask why." Captain Cragen said, meeting Jordan's dark grey eyes.

"I decided it was time for a change. They told me there was a spot in SVU, asked me if I wanted it and I said yes. I think I can really make a difference here." Jordan said in a calm voice that reveled almost no emotion. Cragen looked the young woman over, noting her hard stare and the fierce determination in her eyes. Her hair was cut short almost military style but just a little longer and black as night. Her skin was tan and suggested at a Caribbean origin. Well built and noticeably distant he wondered how she was going to handle dealing with their kind of victims.

"Well Detective, welcome to Special Victims. I'll introduce you around." Cragen said standing and walking toward the door. Jordan followed him out, standing by his side as he called the attention of the other detectives in the room.

"People this is our new detective, Jordan Aurora, she will be replacing Lake. Jordan this is Olivia Benson, Elliot Stabler, John Munch and Fin Tutuola."

Jordan nodded her hello's to everyone.

"For right now I'm going to par you up with Detective Benson. I know this line of work is a little different then what you are used to so I just want to see how you do out there." Cragen said motioning to the woman sitting at the desk just slightly to Jordan's right. She nodded again to the Captain and then regarded the woman who was to be her new partner.

"Hello Detective Benson it's nice to meet you." Jordan relied while extending her hand like she had done to the Captain earlier. She let her eyes linger probably a little bit to long on the detective then sat down on the desk butting up against Olivia's.

Olivia handed Jordan a file stating…

"Twenty-four year old female found in an alley off 27th, she was stabbed six times in the chest, raped and sodomized. We got DNA off the rape kit but didn't get a match in the system. Also found a broken beer bottle near the body, I'm thinking that's our murder weapon but I'm still waiting back for the Crime Lab to confirm it." Olivia watched Jordan's reaction as she relayed the details of the homicide to her. Her face remained stone the entire time. It was only her eyes that gave Jordan away. They began to burn brighter with each new detail and Olivia suspected that she was furious, but when Jordan spoke her voice betrayed none of the emotion that was so vivid in her eyes.

"Do was know was she was doing in the alley? Was she dumped or killed there?" Jordan asked. Olivia was taken aback by the calm tone of her voice, wondering how her eyes could look so furious and her voice show none of it.

"CSU says she was killed at the scene. As for why she was down there, we don't know. She was a college student, just finishing her last year over at NYU. Names Veronica Taylor."

"Find anything else at the scene?"

"No that's it. I'm about to go interview some of her friends, want to come?" Olivia asked, thinking now was the time to see what kind of detective Jordan Aurora was.

"Sure but you can drive, I suck at maneuvering in New York traffic." Jordan caught the small smile pull at the corner of Olivia's face and thought briefly _wow she's beautiful._ Then she shook the thought from her head and followed her out the door.

NYU Dorms

Washington Square Park

New York City.

"Hello Rachel I'm Detective Benson, this is my partner Detective Aurora, we wanted to talk to you about your friend Veronica. What can you tell us about her?"

"She was always nice to everyone, saying hi and trying to make the new girls feel welcome. She went to all of her classes and even started a study group." the girl said, wiping at the tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"Do you know if she had a boyfriend or someone she was dating?" Jordan asked, handing the girl a tissue.

"She never talked about anyone. Said she didn't want to think about dating till after she finished school."

"Did any boys take a special interest in her. Anyone following her, sending her letters?" Olivia asked.

"Just this one kid, Michel Jacobs. He asked her out a couple of times, she kept turning him down but he would ask again a few days later. Finally she told him that she was gay and he backed off."

"Was she really a lesbian or did she just say that to get this guy to leave her alone." Jordan asked. She was all to aware of straight girls who pretended to be gay just to get a guy to either leave them alone, or notice them.

"No she really was gay. That's why she joined the Reverses, so they would pay for college, her parents kicked her out when she told them."

"She was in the army?" Olivia asked. "Our medical examiner said that she most likely walked with a slight limp, was she still enlisted?"

"No, she told me when she was over in Iraq she got shot in the leg. They let her out on disability because she couldn't pass then physical."

"Did she ever get nightmares or act eradically for no reason?" Jordan asked. Olivia wondered where that question came from.

"Not that I saw. She was always focused and level headed."

"Just one more question. Did you happen to see Veronica the night that she died, did she say were she was going?" Olivia asked.

"Only first thing in the morning on my way to class, are first class building are next to each other. I waved high and asked if she wanted to study with me later. She said she did but wasn't sure if she would be finished with her report in time and would meet me at the library if she could. When she didn't show up I just figured she was still in her room working on her paper."

"Thank you Rachel you have been a big help." Olivia and Jordan both stood and made their way to the door. Once in the hall Olivia regarded Jordan and asked

"What was with the question about her acting eradically? You think maybe she had a wild side?"

"No, I was a Marine for six years, some of the people I served with couldn't handle being back home. They would be ok for a while then all of a sudden it was like they were bipolar, they would take drugs, drink, party for weeks straight and sleep with anyone who came their way. Figured if she was doing that maybe it could account for why she was in the alley, but she don't seem to have the signs I just wanted to double check."

"Oh" They continued walking and Olivia wondered just what made this woman decide that after all this time in the military and ESU to up and become a Special Victims Detective. She realized then that there were a lot of things about Jordan Aurora that she wanted to know, and she couldn't figure out why.

"So where to next Liv?" Jordan asked snapping Olivia out of her thoughts. She looked down at her notebook and then back up to Jordan noticing that her eyes seemed to sparkle with just a hint of blue beneath the grey. Her eyes seemed calmer down, almost tranquil and Olivia had to shake her head again to focus. _Jesus what is wrong with me, why am I so mesmerized by her eyes?_

"Over to the Library" she finally answered, "Jessica Milburns helps Veronica run their study group, her roommate told me we could find her there."

Jordan just nodded and continued walking. If she noticed Olivia tossing a quick glance at her every so often she made no sign of it.


	2. Something there

Jordan Aurora walked briskly to her desk carrying two steaming cups of coffee. She set one down on her desk and placed the other on the desk of the toffee skinned woman across from her.

Olivia Benson looked up from her notes as a cup of steaming coffee was placed on her desk. She glanced up and meet the grey eyes of her new partner.

"Thanks." Glancing around the room Olivia noticed for the first time that it was dark outside and that most of the other officers and detectives had left. She turned to Jordan and watched as the tall, tanned skin woman sat entering notes into the computer. Olivia was amazed at how at home Jordan looked at Elliot's old desk. She thought she would hate the idea of having a new partner, especially a first year detective. As she stared at the woman across from her though, she realized that was not the case at all. Olivia found herself drawn to Jordan in a way she had never experienced before. She found she wanted to know the woman beneath the hard exterior. This thought frightened the detective and before she could let her thoughts wonder any further she turned back to her notes and began reviewing the words she already knew by heart.

Jordan looked up just as Olivia turned her head. It was obvious to Jordan that Olivia had been staring at her. She wondered briefly what the detective saw when she looked at her. To many years being trained to hide her emotions had left Jordan cold and she knew she came off as aloof and hard. Her eyes lingered on the woman in front of her. Olivia Benson had a warmth about her that Jordan had not felt for so long. Even with her closest colleagues in the unit there had always been that wall between everyone. With Olivia it was different. She took the time to make sure that Jordan got everything, and she gave off an air of caring. Even when she was questioning someone, she was slow and gentle. Olivia Benson was also one of the most beautiful women Jordan had ever seen. Her hair was a rich, dark brown that was cut short and tossed around, almost windblown. Her eyes were a warm brown that reminded her of milk chocolate, and her body, god she had curves that made Jordan's mouth water. Lean, just a hint of muscles on her arms and legs and a smooth, perfect stomach. Jordan knew if she wasn't careful, she could get in big trouble here.

Jordan quickly moved her eyes away as she saw the detective's head pop up. _Yes Jordan, first day on the job and your new partner catches you checking her out. Smooth, real smooth._

Olivia hadn't missed the site of Jordan staring at her. In fact she thought she saw that same blue sparkle in Jordan's grey eyes before she quickly moved them. Sighing, Olivia glanced at the clock on the wall and realized it was nearly one in the morning. She cleaned up her desk a little, shoving papers into a file and stood up.

"It's late Jordan, we should get going. Maybe in the morning after some sleep it will make more sense."

"I know your right I just can't figure out what a straight A student was doing in an alley alone in the dead of night. It doesn't make any sense."

"I know but you need to get some sleep. I don't know how your last partner worked you but I'm not going to run you down." Jordan smiled at the statement and turned to face Olivia.

"Gee thanks, I guess I can sleep with both eyes closed now." They both laughed at this and made their way down the empty hall toward the parking garage.

"Actually I never really had a partner in a sense. I worked in a team but I was the sniper so I mainly just worked alone, taking orders from the Capt."

"Oh, did you like it over at ESU?" Olivia asked. She was still curious to know why Jordan would choose to come over to SVU.

"Yeah it was ok but some things happened and it was made clear that I probably wasn't really welcome there anymore so I took the detectives examine." Olivia didn't miss the mint of bitterness in her voice. She wouldn't push because Jordan was a cop and she knew as well as any cop that what ever demons haunted Jordan, she probably hasn't told anyone about them.

"Well there loss is SVU's gain. You did really good out there today. Hard to believe this is really your first day as a detective." Olivia was rewarded with a small smile from Jordan, one that nearly made her stop breathing. Jordan's face was absolutely beautiful when she smiled.

Olivia quickly tried to regain herself and pointed over in the direction of her car.

"I'm over here, so I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yep, bright and early." Jordan said with a laugh, waving goodbye as she made her way to her car.

The old black Civic stood alone on the far side of the garage and she quickly unlocked the doors and got in. Driving threw the late night streets her mind kept drifting back to Olivia. Jordan found herself wondering if she got home ok, where she lived, if she lived alone. Olivia hadn't made any attempt to call anyone to say she was working late and had not once spoke on the phone to anyone with a voice that wasn't professional.

Jordan started to slow when she saw a bar up the road and then thought better of it. No use coming to work tomorrow with a hangover. She realized that for the first time she actually cared what her coworkers thought of her. Well not all of them, just one in particular. This thought scared her. Not for the first time tonight she realized that the direction her thoughts were taking toward her new partner could lead her in trouble. Even this realization couldn't stop her thoughts from wondering back to the brown haired detective, and giving it, Jordan let them if only for a little while.

Across town Olivia Benson let herself into her apartment, tossing her keys on the table by the door. She walked the few feet toward the kitchen and peered inside her fridge. Old Chinese, cold pizza a few bottles of beer and something in a container she couldn't quite recognize. Closing the door, she grabbed the take out menu from the magnet on the freezer door and called in her usual order.

Thirty minutes later Olivia Benson climbed into bed alone. Turning to face the bedside clock she saw the numbers 3:17 lit up in the bright red glow. Closing her eyes she was surprised when her mind drifted to Jordan Aurora. She remembered the soft, yet strong planes of her face. Her tanned sharp cheekbones and thin red lips. Remembering how those lips had lifted into that small smile earlier made her heartbeat quicken.

Her hair looked just on the edge of being messy but still looked almost military cut at the same time, a dark black that looked almost midnight in its color. Her eyes were what Olivia remembered most clearly though. How they usually looked so hard and grey, a stone like quality, but how they managed to show Jordan's every emotion that she kept so well hidden. How they turned nearly black when she was telling Jordan about their victim. She also remembered how they had sparkled with just the lightest hint of blue when she caught Jordan staring at her.

She sighed heavily and willed sleep to come. Olivia wasn't foolish to what was happening to her. She found Jordan Aurora attractive, that she couldn't deny. There was something else though, that she couldn't quite put her finger on that was plaguing her mind. Whatever it was would have to wait as her breathing became regulated with the sound of sleep.

Olivia Benson jerked awake at the sound of the loud ringing. Turning in her bed she reached for the phone and noticed the red numbers glow 4:42.

"Hello?" she said, her voice still heavy with sleep. She listened intently on the phone as the police dispatcher told her about the scene.

"Ok I'll be right there." She placed the phone back on the receiver and got out of bed, heading for her clothes that were still strung across the chair. After dressing she picked up her gun, keys and badge and made her way to the door, wondering if they had known to call Jordan. She found she was just a little happy at the thought of seeing her again so soon. Quickly shaking her head she reminded herself where she was going, and why it was no time to be happy.


	3. Serial?

Olivia flashed her badge to the uniformed officer and made her way down to the alley. She was just a bit shocked to find Jordan slumped over the body. She quickened her pace when Jordan looked up, meeting her eyes.

"What have we got?" Olivia asked.

"twenty-two year old female. She was raped and sodomized. Also you should see this." Olivia followed Jordan's fingers to the young woman's chest. Her skin was covered in blood from what looked like deep stab wounds.

"She was stabbed" Olivia added.

"Ya, ME can't tell for sure just yet, but it looks like six times. Also CSU found a broken beer bottle just a little ways from the body, covered in blood."

"Jesus, this is almost exactly like our other crime scene."

Jordan walked over to Olivia and slipped her a pair of rubber gloves, which she quickly put on. Everything in Jordan's head was screaming at her to take the ropes and run with this like she was the senior detective. Hell back at ESU basically everyone but her team captain referred to her. Now she found herself falling back behind Olivia. Not just willingly giving her the lead, but wanting to. This though unsettled her and she hade to look around again to remind herself it was four in the morning and she was in the middle of a crime scene.

"Any sign of fluids?" Olivia asked the ME.

"Yeah, I took a sample for you. Also I think you might want to see this." Dr. Warner said. She glanced once at Olivia and then at Jordan.

"Liv, who's your new partner? Stabler get in trouble or something?" Olivia smiled a little at how Warner would assume Elliot got himself in trouble.

"No, this is Detective Jordan Aurora, she's new, just came to us from ESU."

She was amazed at how Jordan had yet to really take her eyes off the scene, as if she was still searching for something.

"Oh, well this is what I wanted you to see." Warner said as she held up the girls right wrist.

"I can tell from the bruising that he held her down hard. If you look here you can see that she was wearing some kind of bracelet, and what ever if was had writing. I can't tell you what it says now, but come by tomorrow and I'll have it for you."

"Thanks" Olivia said, then headed up the alley to where Jordan was standing. Upon reaching her Olivia noticed the slight frown of her lips and the crease of her brows that looked of concentration.

"It don't make any sense, there's an all night diner just down the road, no one heard her scream."

"In this city, you know as well as I do that no one but a cop pays any attention to people screaming."

Jordan sighed, knowing Olivia was write about that. She gave one more look around, making sure she got everything that could be found. Satisfied she turned back to Liv and said

"Well I don't know about you but I'm to wired to go back to sleep for all of two hours, want to grab something to eat?"

Olivia's heart skipped a little faster at this thought and she knew she should decline, but looking at Jordan eyes made her resolve crumble in a minutes time. Her eyes had that blue sparkle the Olivia was quickly coming to find out meant Jordan had let her walls down, amide, only a little.

"Sure, sounds good to me."

Jordan smiled to herself and turned down to walk the few blocks to the diner she had passed on the way to the crime scene. She kept trying to go over the case as she walked but was finding it increasingly hard. Looking to her right and seeing Olivia walking next to her in what looked like yesterday's clothes and rumpled hair only made things worse. Even straight out of bed at four in the morning and still the woman managed to look beautiful. It may not have been runway beautiful but, to Jordan, it was something better. Olivia radiated a sense of both strong determination and warm compassion that Jordan was drawn to right from the beginning. She allowed a ghost of a smile to touch her face as she though _This is the best move I've ever made._

When they got to the diner the waitress showed them to a both in the nearly empty room. They only other people in the diner were the cook, who could just be seen in the back, the waitress, and a lone figure who looked to be a factory worker sitting at the counter, drinking coffee. Jordan leaned into to the table and whispered softly to Olivia

"Wow this place is shit, next time I'll take you out to a real breakfast place."

Olivia smiled back, her breath leaving her for just a moment at the nearness of Jordan's lips and the whispered words, although innocent enough, made her heart beat quicken its pace.

"So what do you think, serial or coincidence?" Jordan asked. "I know it's only two victims but I doubt this is the last one we are going to see."

"Your right, there are to many things in common, nothing is ever that much of a coincidence. We should talk to Cragen this morning see what he says on the matter."

Jordan nodded in agreement but it was clear that something was still on her mind. Olivia waited in silence for a few more seconds, then said,

"Something on your mind?"

Jordan looked up from the table into the brown eyes that had been plaguing her dreams the whole time her tried to sleep. She smiled at the brown eyed detective and said what was on her mind.

"Yeah, the roommate today said that Veronica was gay. There is a lesbian club a few blocks from here. From her clothes, I would guess this one might be gay too."

"You can tell if a person is gay by their clothes, what were they teaching you over at ESU?" Olivia asked. Jordan chuckled softly before answering.

"No, I know the bar because after a few bar shootings we were ordered to memorize all the major clubs in the area so if we had to report we would know exactly where we were going. As for how she is dressed, the few clubs that I have been into, most of the girls dress like that. I could be wrong, it's just a thought."

"Your gay?" Olivia blurted out before she could stop herself. The minute the words left her mouth she wished she could take them back. _God I sounded like an ass._

"Yeah" Jordan replied, hoping Olivia wasn't the type to mind that sort of thing. She didn't seem like she took notice of things like that, but you just never know with some people.

"Oh, anyone special?" Olivia asked. She hoped by her asking that Jordan realized that it didn't bother her. Suddenly Olivia realized she was nervous about how Jordan would answer the question. She held her breath until Jordan spoke.

"Me, nah, what can I say, I'm a cop. What about you?" Jordan was aware of her anticipation at Olivia's answer. She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help hoping Olivia would say no. She was relieved when she did but only nodded in silence.

They sat there a little while longer, each enjoying the rest of their breakfast in silence. Back on the street they headed to their separate cars.

"See you in about five minutes." Jordan called out laughing. Olivia rewarded her with a smile and before she could talk herself out of it she said

"You have any plans for after work tonight, I was thinking we could go to this great burger joint I know. I promise it will be better than that diner." Olivia almost couldn't believe it. Was Jordan Aurora asking her out. She shook her head quickly and reminded herself that Jordan was probably just trying to be friendly.

"Sure, sounds good to me."

"Cool" With that Jordan walked to her car with a wide smile plastered on her face. Yeah Olivia was her partner and most likely straight, but Jordan wasn't oblivious to the glances Liv threw at her when she thought Jordan wasn't looking. Hell, maybe she would make an ass out of herself. _That's never stopped me before, why let it now._

Jordan looked up from the stack of papers on her desk and couldn't believe it when she noticed the wall clock said 8:45. She looked around the room and noticed that pretty much everyone else had gone home. Only her and Olivia were still in the squad room.

It had been a long day. The ME, Jordan was told, had been busy all day with three people from a triple murder at some rich guys house. Probably they would be lucky if they got to go over their case with her tomorrow. They figured out the beer bottle was defiantly the murder weapon but there were no prints on this time. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. They weren't going to get anywhere tonight and she knew that Olivia mush have every word in that case file memerized by now, she knew she did.

"Ready for that great burger I promised you? I really don't think there's anything new for us to find tonight, we might as well eat."

Olivia looked up at the sound of Jordan's voice. It was late and she knew Jordan was right. Still she wasn't sure she was ready to leave and for once it had nothing to do with a case. She was worried of going out to dinner with her. Even though all day she had been telling herself it was just to partners going out for a quick bit after work. Hell, her and Elliot had done that a countless number of times and it hadn't been a date for them. Still, something about tonight seemed different. Maybe it was just the someone that was different.

Jordan waited silently for a reply, afraid maybe that Olivia had changed her mind. She was about to say forget it when Liv found her voice.

"Yeah sounds good."

At this Jordan gave her a slow, calming smile and stood from her desk, reaching around back to grab her jacket.

"Alright, come on I'll drive. We can swing by later and pick up your car."

"Ok"

Olivia stood, grabbed her jacket and followed Jordan out of the empty squad room. She walked nervously repeating in her head _it's just friends grabbing dinner, _over and over to try to ease her heartbeat. It didn't work.


	4. Pitch Black

Just a brief warning, this chapter contains mild sexual references. I know some people don't like to read things like that so i will warn you ahead of time whenever a chapter may contain that sort of thing, although i only write those things in if they are essential to the story.

Also in this chapter there is mention of a mixed bar. For any that don't know it's the name given to gay bars that allow men and women in, as opposed to the ones that are just one gender.

Hope you think this chapter. Also thank you to all who have reviewed. I'm still new and learning and your feedback helps.

Disclaimer:I only own the character of Jordan Aurora, all the other characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

Olivia was surprised when Jordan pulled into a parking garage in Soho.

"I've got to park here cause there is no parking near the place. Then again this is New York, I don't think there is ever really parking anywhere in this city."

Olivia smiled in agreement and opened her door. As she closed the door she thought in amazement how the outside of Jordan's car made it look about to die, however, the inside was practically nicer than most luxury cars.

"So where is this place your dragging me off to in the middle of the night?" Olivia asked. She couldn't help the nervous anticipation she felt growing in her stomach as she fell in line with Jordan.

"Just this little place I know." Jordan said with a smirk. She glanced quickly over at Olivia and thought for a second that the detective looked just a bit nervous. She just as quickly banished that thought, realizing that she herself felt nervous. She had never once felt nervous in front of a woman before. She just chalked it up to the fact that she was taking Olivia to a mixed bar and didn't know how the woman would react. Jordan knew she should tell her, but part of her was desperate to see Olivia's true reaction.

Jordan slowed her step as they came to a bright neon sigh that read "_**Pitch Black**_". Jordan smiled to herself as she turned to Liv.

"We're here." she said, taking Olivia's hand and leading her up the steps to the second floor where the restaurant was located.

Olivia looked up at the tall brick building with the pulsing neon sign above it. She had to admit, when Jordan had said diner she thought she meant some take out or even a small restaurant. Not some hip night club in Soho. Before she could voice her thoughts Olivia felt Jordan grab her hand and lead her up to the front door, bypassing the line of well over fifty people waiting on the side of the street.

The small foyer was dark with a bright red wood floor and black wall paint. Directly in front stood the entrance to the club. A thin black curtain hung loosely from the large door frame and beyond Olivia could see the forms of people dancing. To the right was a set of stairs. They too were black and Olivia couldn't tell if they were real or if they were painted on the wall and not really stairs at all. Only when Jordan started up them did Olivia realize they were indeed real.

As they got to the second floor landing a tall man in an inpresive suit came out to greet them.

"Jordan so good to see you again. I'm full right now on the top but if you would like to wait a minute and have a drink, on the house of course, something will open up shortly, I promise." the man said. He was just a little taller than Jordan, 5'11 maybe, with sunshine blond hair and the bluest eyes Olivia had ever seen. His face was flawless and Olivia had to admit she was hansome. Turing to look at Jordan, however, cause her to realize the his looks didn't matter in the least.

Olivia noticed how he regarded Jordan with both polite professonalizm and quite dedication, as if thanking her for something she had yet to do. Or maybe, it was something she already did. She was about to introduce herself when Jordan beat her too it.

"Anthony, this is my new partner Detective Olivia Benson. Olivia this is a good friend of him Anthony Rainer. Anthony owns the club."

"Nice to meet you Anthony, this is a nice place you have here."

"Nice to meet you as well Olivia but I must say if you think what you have seen so far is nice, prepare to be amazed at the rest." he said with a smile.

"Well I must be off Jordan. I'll have someone down shortly to take you to your table. Enjoy your evening."

On his way to leave Anthony leaned into Jordan's ear and whispered

"_Be careful, this one looks dangerous"_ Jordan just smiled as she led Olivia threw the door and to the bar area. _Dangerous, yes I think that's just the right word for this._

Olivia threw her head back laughing as Jordan recalled the story of when she first met Anthony. It had been years ago when she was still with ESU. They reported to a man barricaded in his apartment refusing to give up his neighbors dog. The guy said he had a bomb but really it was just some old guy who didn't take his pills. Jordan broke down the door and saved Anthony's dog for him. They have been friends since then.

"So that's how you met. That's the best story I think I've heard and I've worked with Munch longer then I can remember." Jordan laughed, thinking of how the story sounded to someone was hadn't been there.

"Yeah, at the time it wasn't funny, but now it is pretty hilarious. Him and his partner John still have the dog too, his names Buddy."

Jordan felt relieved a little at the fact that Olivia didn't at all seemed bothered by the fact that they were in a gay bar. In fact Jordan had to admit, she looked right at home here.

"So what do you think so far?"

"This is nice, defiantly one of the nicest bars I've been to in a while. Why the name "Pitch Black" though?"

"I'll explain later, I think that's our ride up to the restaurant." Again, Jordan grabbed Olivia's hand and lead her threw the sea of bodies and toward a tall redhead waiting in the corner. The redhead just smiled at then and turned away, walking off to the door of an elevator. Olivia followed close behind Jordan, their hands still intertwined. She had to admit that touching Jordan's skin was sending chills all over her body.

Olivia wasn't naive, she knew why Jordan had this effect on her. She had always known she was gay. It wasn't something she felt the need to share and frankly she didn't want anyone to know. After a really hard break up years ago she just dove deeper into her work and stopped dating altogether. Eventually she just contended herself with the face that she would be alone forever. That was ok with her, she had her work. Now though, she could feel her defenses beginning to slip around Jordan. This she was not ready for, she doubted she ever would be ready.

Jordan may not have implied that this was a date, but walking from the elevator into the spacious, beautifully decorated room, Olivia found it harder and harder to tell herself that that was not the case.

The room was the size of a high school gym. Large floor to ceiling windows occupied most of the walls while elegant tables, chairs and decorations littered the room. Wonderfully crafted lights hung from the ceiling and all Olivia could do was stare at the magnificent of the room. She finally snapped from her trance as she felt Jordan's hand lightly brush her back as she stared to walk.

"Amazing it's it. To think that above that crazy night club there is a five star restaurant."

Jordan this is incredible. I feel so out of place though, look at me." Olivia said, blushing slightly as she motioned at her clothes, which were worn and dirty.

"Don't be silly, you look fantastic. Now come on, you have got to try the food here, it's the best in the city. I promise."

Olivia's heart rate shot threw the roof at Jordan's compliment. She sat down quickly, hoping Jordan wouldn't see her blush.

"Wow, you were right. That was amazing, this place should be in magazines." Olivia remarked after finishing the last bits of chicken and pasta from her plate.

"Oh it is. Around the corner is the entrance to just this part. It's a lot nicer but I wanted to trick you into thinking I was taking you to some trashy night club." Jordan said with a smirk.

"You little sneak."

"Yup, that's me. I'm glad you liked the food."

"It was delicious."

Jordan smiled and Olivia matched her face across the table. Looking down Jordan realized it was almost time and stood up.

"I know its late but would you like to have one dance with me. It's almost time and I promised I would explain the meaning of the name of this place to you."

Olivia thought of this for a second. They really should get going. It was late and they had a big case to work on in the morning. She was about to decline when she met Jordan's eyes and saw that they were almost a light shade of powder blue. She had been noticing earlier how throughout the night her normally dark grey eyes seemed to have been and more of the blue sparkles in them. Without thinking she answered

"Sure, I'd love too." No sooner had the words left her mouth then did Olivia realize how true they really were. That thought scared her. It scared her more then she thought possible.

Jordan's smile brightened even further and she led Olivia back to the elevator and asked one of the girls to key in the dance floor. Olivia had expected to enter that small foyer again that led into the dance hall, but as the doors opened she found herself immersed in the chaos immediately. Thankfully, Jordan grabbed her hand and led her farther in until they came to a spot near the middle and began to dance. Only after a few minutes did Olivia realize that they were in a gay club. The whole night, she realized, she hadn't taken her eyes off Jordan long enough to notice that the women were all with other women and the men were mostly with other men, some where with women who Olivia would bet were men.

Just as she turned back to Jordan to suggest they leave the lights went out, covering the whole room in complete darkness. Olivia felt two hands go around her and she was about to break them off when Jordan's breath sounded cool and soft in her ear

"_It's ok, the lights will come back. Remember this is Pitch Black."_

Olivia couldn't comprehend any of what Jordan had just told her. Her heart beat so fast she thought it might break threw her chest. Her legs felt weak and if it weren't for Jordan's hands she thought she would probably fall down. Only when bursts of lights, all different colors and blinking on and off, came on did Olivia realize she had stopped breathing. She felt Jordan move and begin to dance again, her hands still resting lightly on Olivia's hips.

Soon they were both lost in the sound of the music, the pulse of the beat, the scream of the strobe lights washing them with colors and then just as quickly shading them in darkness.

Jordan leaned in closer, wanting only to look into Olivia's eyes. When she meet the chocolate brown eye's staring back at hers she nearly gasped as the desire she saw swimming in them. All reason and thought leaving her body Jordan closed the ever shrinking space between them and crashed her lips into Olivia's. She was met with a quick moan from Olivia but felt the shock and quick resistance in her body. She was about to back off when Olivia's mouth opened under her, allowing Jordan to explore every part of her. At this point the fact that Olivia was her partner and this was against the rules were the furthest things from her mind.

Olivia felt Jordan pulling closer with each second. She was feeling so free that she almost forgot herself. Forgot the fact that this was her partner who she was supposed to be working with, not dancing and have dinner in a great club. Just when Olivia thought she had regained somewhat control over her emotions she looked up into Jordan's eyes. It may have just been the strobe lights but when she looked into her eyes she thought they looked almost a smoky blue, laced with desire. Try as she might, she could feel her own desire seeping into her eyes, then Jordan took one more step closer, and all thought left her body.

Jordan's lips were like fire of her mouth, she moaned. After then initial shock past she found her lips opening to Jordan, letting her inside to explore, to take, to conquered. She found her hands moved all on their own into Jordan's hair and around to her back, pulling her impossibly closer. She felt like every cell in her body was alive and screaming for Jordan.

When Jordan finally pulled away both of them were noticeably trembling.

"You wanna get out of hear, my place is right up the road?" The words were out before Jordan had time to realize it. She panicked for all of three seconds before Olivia answered

"Yeah lets go."

Jordan gabbed her hand and the both practically ran out the club and down the road to the garage to get Jordan's car. Olivia knew she shouldn't be doing this. This was crazy, Jordan was her partner for gods sake. Olivia knew all this, yet all she could think was how good Jordan felt and tasted as they kissed. She wanted more or that, much more.

Jordan smiled when she found a spot on the street in front of her building. She parked, cut the engine and speed walked to the door with Liv close behind. As soon as the elevator doors closed behind them they were in each other's arms again. Lips crashing on lips. Thighs pressed tight together. Jordan tugged at Olivia's shirt and when she freed it from her jeans she slipped a hand up to cup her breast. This caused Olivia to moan and slam Jordan against the wall of the small cart.

They broke apart when the doors opened and quickly walked down the hall. Jordan stopped in front of apartment 7D and slipped her key into the lock.

They made their way into the apartment, leaving all thought and concern at the door.


	5. Morning After

Olivia's eyes blinked open as the thin rays of early morning sun crept into them. She shifted slightly and was, for a moment, confused as to where she was. She was about to jump out of bed when a warm hand snaked around her middle. Suddenly, Olivia knew exactly where she was, and more importantly, what she had been up most of the night doing.

Glancing to her right she saw Jordan's sleeping form lying peacefully on the bed next to her. Olivia couldn't help but stare. The thin sheet was woven just over her breasts and rear, leaving her naked back exposed to Olivia's greedy eyes. Her hair was just slightly rumpled and her mouth, Olivia noticed, was set in a firm line. Jordan at once looked both at peace and at war. Her body relaxed, her face ready for war. Olivia wondered what it took for Jordan to develop these qualities.

She let her eyes travel the length of Jordan's body one last time and was about to wake her when she noticed something on the right side of her neck. There on Jordan's flawless skin was a red scar. It looked fairly new. Olivia leaned in closer, noticing it was too large to be from a knife.

Jordan slowly lifted one eye open hoping to find the Olivia was still lying next to her. They hadn't had much sleep the night before and really only drifted off when both their bodies had forced them too. Still Jordan was afraid Olivia would wake up and sneak out. Most of the time Jordan found she didn't care what her dates did after they had slept together and often times found herself alone the next morning. It wasn't something that bothered her. In fact, most times she was grateful she wouldn't have to go threw the awkward "_I'll call you_" routine, which was always a lie because she never did call. This time it was different, she wanted to wake up next to Olivia.

She looked threw her one open eye and caught the beautiful chocolate brown ones of the woman lying next to her. Smiling like a little kid at Christmas she said

"Morning"

"Morning" Olivia replied.

"Hungry?"

Olivia's eye's darken to a smoky color and it was all Jordan could do to keep herself from jumping onto Olivia, but they needed to get up. Without even looking at her clock she knew it was 6:00am and they needed to get ready for work.

"For food, you know the stuff you eat so you can spend all night in bed." Jordan said with a smirk.

"Oh, right, food. Yeah actually I'm starving." Olivia replied, blushing slightly. _Jes Liv get your mind out of the gutter. We were up most of the night together, how can still be instantly ready for more just from looking at her._

Jordan threw the covers off her body and walked naked into the bathroom. She heard Olivia's quick intake of breath and smiled to herself before throwing over her shoulder

"I'm just gonna grab a quick shower then we can pick something up on the way to the station. Your more than welcome to join me if you'd like."

Olivia tossed the covers off herself and moved quickly for the bathroom door she had just seen Jordan disappear behind. Somehow all thought of food vanished.

"Cause of death was a stab wound to her upper left chest. The beer bottle isn't what killed her, it was a long knife. Probably a kitchen knife I'd say judging by how deep the cut is. The knife entered here between the ribs and clipped the heart." Melinda Warner said, motioning to the X-ray hanging before Jordan and Olivia.

"The other five cuts along the chest were made with the beer bottle but, judging by the placements of the cuts, I'd say they were made after she was stabbed with the knife. Also, there was no evidence that she fought back. I checked under her nails, but they where clean. I believe she was stabbed first, then raped."

"Get DNA from the rape kit?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, it's a match to the DNA found in Veronica Taylor." Dr. Warner replied.

"What about her wrist. I noticed under the bruising it looked like there was some kind of indentation. Get anything from that?" Jordan asked.

Dr. Warner walked around the table and lifted the girls wrist, holding it under the light so the detectives could see the mark better.

"Your right, there is some kind of marking here. My guess is she was wearing something when she was attacked. Killer grabbed her wrist so tight it cause a mark. I made a mold of it and sent it over to the crime lab."

"Anything else you can tell us?" Olivia asked. So far they had nothing. Oh they had a ton of evidence, but nothings that could point them to the person committing the crimes.

"Not on this victim but I did take a closer look at the stab wounds on the first victims chest. At first I thought they were all done by the beer bottle but after this victim came in I took a closer look. They are all pretty close together, and it's impossible to tell which one killed her, but again only five where from the beer bottle. The other was from a knife. I compared the two marks and they were a match."

Olivia sighed at this news. All it really told them was what they already knew. The same guy had killed both woman, and most likely would kill again until they stopped him.

"Thanks Melinda, call us if you find anything else." With that Olivia turned and headed out the door with Jordan close on her heels.

Once they were outside the ME's office Olivia nearly broke out into a run

"Hey wait up." Jordan said as she jogged up next to Olivia.

"Have I done something wrong? It's like you did a 180, you have barely even looked at me since we got to the station this morning." Olivia stopped abruptly and spun around to face Jordan.

"Look Jordan, we work together, that's all. What happened last night…"

"And this morning." Jordan interjected with a smirk. Her smile quickly faded as she meet the cold dark brown eyes Olivia had on her. It was a lethal stare, one that if she hadn't already faced a thousand other ones exactly like it, she might have found

frightening.

"We can't do this Jordan." Olivia replied almost inaudibly. Jordan thought she heard just a hint of sadness in the other woman's voice. She squared her shoulders and started directly into Olivia's eyes.

"Why not, and don't give me that shit about us being partners because we're not. Well I mean we are right now but you heard the captain, this is temporary until I can prove I'm not going to scream at some rape victim who is to scared to come forward."

"Jordan" Olivia stammered "I just can't ok. Just forget it." Jordan's anger melted as she heard the tremor in Olivia's voice. Most people wouldn't have noticed it was so faint, but Jordan knew it was there.

"I can't forget it. I…" Jordan's next words were cut short as Olivia's cell phone rang. Jordan cursed under her breath as Olivia answered. Never in her life had a woman gotten this close this fast. Years in the Military and then at ESU had left her hollow and cold. After her last lover left her she decided that relationships just weren't worth it. Everything had been fine after that, maybe not good and she wasn't really happy, but there was no drama and no mess. Now, just looking at Olivia she found herself wanting something that she had sworn she would never have again…love.

Jordan shook her head of the thoughts that threatened to choke her and regarded Olivia as she closed her phone.

"That was Cragen, missing person's may have a match for her." Olivia said, motioning with her head to the hall they had just come from.

"Good, hopefully something from this one can tell us a little bit more about the killer. I know I've only been a detective a few days, but this smells like a serial. What's your bet there will be more."

"I hate to admit it, but I think your right. Lets just hope we can get a lead, and soon."

Jordan nodded, then leaned over Olivia, whispering in her ear… "Don't think I'm going to let this go, cause I'm not. I can't forget, but I can wait." Then turned and headed for the door.

Olivia was frozen for a brief minute, the heat of Jordan's sweet breath still on her skin. She couldn't believe this was happening. She had just met the woman and already she lost control just being around her. _Things were a lot easier with Elliot_

Jordan stood just a little off to the side and watched as Olivia regarded the room. A few minutes before they had been compiling the evidence they had so far so they could brief the rest of the detectives. Jordan noticed how calm and in control Olivia looked at this moment. She was strong and determined. Just briefly Jordan's mind wandered to last night when Olivia had been in her arms, vulnerable and soft. That person barely resembled the strong cop standing in front of her now. Jordan could appreciate that though, she more than anyone, knew what it took to do the job they all did. Vulnerability was something you couldn't have, that's what got you killed.

"Victim number one is named Veronica Taylor. She's a student at NYU, this was her last year. She was found in an alley. ME puts her time of death at just two hours before she was found. She had been stabbed once with a large kitchen knife, then five more times with a broken beer bottle. We recovered the beer bottle but no knife. No prints either. She was raped, beaten, and sodomized. We did find DNA but there are no matches." Olivia expelled an exasperated breath and then continued.

"Victim number two I just learned is names Lindsay West. We haven't spoken to the family yet. Jordan and I are going to do that after."

Jordan picked up the picture she had just relieved and walked over to the board in the center of the room, placing it next to the one of Veronica. She looked at Olivia and then addressed the room.

"She was also found in a alley. ME put her time of death at five hours before she was found. One stab wound to the chest made with a large kitchen knife. ME says that's what killed her, the other five stable wounds were made after with a broken beer bottle. No prints on this one either. She was rape, beaten and sodomized just like victim number one. The DNA and knife wounds from the two victims are a match."

"Any leads?" Cragen called in. Jordan and Olivia both just sighed at this.

"No, we were looking into this one kid who we heard was harassing Veronica, but we checked. He was held up in a study group the night she was murdered. Twenty witnesses put him there and said that he never left for more that five minutes at a time."

"Jordan, Olivia go talk to the second victims family, find out what might connect these two woman. Elliot, Fin go check over the crime scenes one more time, maybe we'll get lucky and there will be something we missed. John, both these girls had cell phone, check the records and see who they last called."

Everyone nodded and then got up to precede to their task. Jordan looked over a Olivia and noticed how tired the detective looked. They hadn't had much sleep the night before, and the way this case was going, she doubted any of them would get much sleep tonight either. She turned to face Olivia and smiled softly at her.

"You ready" Olivia just sighed and headed for the door.

"As I'll ever be."


	6. Painful Past

"Well that sucked. Is telling the family always that bad?" Jordan asked as her and Olivia made their way back to the squad car.

"Usually. I never really gets better, but you learn to separate yourself so you can get the information you need to help them."

"Yeah, I guess your right."

Olivia turned and regarded Jordan for a minute before she started the car. Her normally soft grey eyes seemed detached and oddly hollow. She wanted to reach out a hand and brush her face, try and sooth the pain she knew was there. It took all she had to keep her hands on the wheel and focus. She wouldn't lead Jordan on, not anymore than she already had. It wasn't fair. Yes she liked her, more than liked her really. Still they were partners and even if they weren't, Jordan was still part of Special Victims and for them to get involved one of them would have to leave. Olivia didn't want to think about that, but she knew her feelings for Jordan went way beyond professional. _God how did this happen, and so fast. _

Jordan sighed heavily and leaned back into the seat as Olivia drove them back to the station. Talking to the victims family had been harder on her than she thought it would. She had never been good with emotions. In fact she had lost many lovers over the years who left saying she was cold and emotionally distant. She knew it was true and after the last one left she had just given up. Now there was no one. Well no one besides her oldest friend Torra. Even that she had managed to fuck up.

All while her and Olivia were in the house speaking to the dead girls parents she thought about how Torra's family must have felt after the shooting her and Jordan had been in. Jordan knew it was her fault. That's what had driven her from ESU. No one would say it outright, but she knew they all thought it. She was in command. She gave the orders. Hell she even lead them threw the fucking door. The fact that she had been shot and almost died was irrelevant. The fact always reminded. Torra had taken a bullet.

Olivia watched as Jordan sat there completely unmindful of the fact that they had arrived back at the precinct. She saw the emotions crossing Jordan face and nearly gasped as she watched her eyes go hollow and cold with pain.

"Jordan, hey are you all right?" Olivia asked. She nudged Jordan once on the shoulder and the other woman seemed to snap out of her spell.

"Huh?" Jordan said, staring around and briefly not knowing where she was. Then realization hit her and she undid the seat belt and practically jumped from the car.

"Yeah, sorry. I just kind of wondered there for a second."

Olivia regarded her carefully and found herself breaking every last one of her rules as she saw the long buried pain in Jordan's eye's.

"You want to grab a drink after? I know I could use one after a day like today."

Jordan smiled as she heard the faint tremor in Olivia's voice.

"Sure, but I thought you didn't date your partners detective, or are you just making in exception for me." Jordan said with a smirk. Olivia turned to Jordan and was pleased to see that the hollow look in her eye's was beginning to fade ever so slightly.

"Don't get your hopes up Aurora, partners have drinks together all the time. Maybe I'll invite the rest of the squad to join."

"Suit yourself. If you want to hang around with a bunch of drunk guys after work that's your prerogative." Jordan said smiling.

Olivia just shook her head and watched as the other woman laughed at her own little joke. Olivia knew she shouldn't be doing this. Everything in her brain was screaming at her to stop, to go to Cragen and get a new partner. Get Elliot back. Something. Yet every time she looked at Jordan she felt compelled to be near her, to know her. To find out what hurt her and what made her happy. That scared her more than almost anything. The only thing that scared her more what when she looked into Jordan's sparkling grey blue eyes and she knew, she just knew, that Jordan was feeling the same way. She smiled lightly just thinking about it, then shook her head and followed Jordan threw the doors marked "Special Victims Unit".

"So you want to tell me about it?" Olivia asked. Her and Jordan had spent the better part of the day going over the files on both victims. So far they hadn't been able to turn up one connection that linked their victims. Elliot and Fin hadn't had much luck either going over the crime scene again and Munch was still waiting to hear back about the phone records. Finally Olivia had had enough. She was burnt out and she knew she was dangerously close to missing something if she looked over she notes one more time. Glancing at Jordan she found that she looked about just as burnt and figured that going for a drink would be safe enough.

Now Olivia was curious as she thought back to earlier in the car when Jordan had that hollow look to her. Olivia wanted to know what caused it.

"What are you talking about?" Jordan asked. Looking a little taken aback.

"In the car today after we left the West's. You had a haunted look to your eyes."

"Are you this nosy with all your partners?"

"No, not really. You don't have to answer."

Jordan thought for a moment. No one had ever really asked her what was wrong. Not with the caring she heard in Olivia's voice. It was like she actually gave a damn. That, Jordan was not used to. After a few minutes of silence she finally spoke.

"Talking to them. It just kind of brought up some old memories." Jordan debated wither or not to go on. It wasn't any of Olivia's business. In fact Olivia would probably think she was to blame as well. It's not like she herself didn't already think that. However, when she looked into Olivia's eyes she saw compassion and kindness and her resilience failed her.

"It was when I was with ESU. The last call I went on before the shooting. In my unit I was the sniper so usually I never saw much ground duty. I was always up in the sky, sort to speak. Anyway, this time we were called to small clothes store. The guy had a gun to his girlfriends head and was rambling in some other language. There were no high shoots so I was ordered on ground and told to take a group of three from my unit and approach around back. Things were fine until we went threw the door. There were two other guys in there that we never saw. I went in first and they opened fire."

Jordan stopped for a second and drew in a shakily breath, then continued.

"I had just stepped in the door when I felt this sharp rush of pain in my neck. Then I felt more bullets lodging in my vest and fell to the ground. I tried to warn the others to fall back but they were already coming threw the door. My best friend, who I served in the Marines with, she was right behind me. She ran over to me and the fuckers got her in the back. It was so close the bullet broke the vest. The guy behind her managed to get both shooters, but the damage was done. Now Torra has to walk with a cane the rest of her life. She can't even be on street duty now. I know it kills her. If I had just been more careful and seen those two before going in none of it would have happened." Jordan set down her beer and shook her head. She had never told anyone what happened that day. She had told the shrink enough to get him to sign her papers saying she was fit, but she never really told him how she felt. How it was going into that room and facing those bullets. It was something she had lived with her whole life. Even when she was little, on the streets of Cuba violence was the quickest way to make a point.

Olivia whipped away the tears that had started to fall as she listened to Jordan's story. Her own heart broke as she listened to Jordan talk about how things had gone so wrong and so deadly. She could hear it in her voice that Jordan blamed herself for what had happened. Just the thought of Jordan in a room with two men with guns shooting at her was enough to make Olivia's heart race with fear.

With cautious fingers she reached out to Jordan, because she had to touch her. Make sure that she was real. She clasped her hand around Jordan's forearm and spoke soothingly

"It wasn't your fault. What you did, going in that building, was incredibly brave. Don't blame yourself. Blame the men who shot you when they knew it was wrong."

Jordan sighed. She had been told those words a thousand times by so many people that she had stopped listening. She had always thought they were wrong. That is was her fault on some level. Listening to Olivia say those words though, made her start to believe that maybe they had some truth to them.

She turned to look into Olivia's eyes and what she saw there took her breath away. They were so caring and warm and full of compassion. Jordan just wanted to get lost in those eyes forever. Before she knew what she was doing she leaned over and took Olivia's lips with her own.

It wasn't a hard, demanding kiss like the one they had shared the other night. This was a soft meeting of lips that spoke of caring and warmth and trust. Jordan trembled from the beauty of how Olivia's lips felt against her own. She was afraid Olivia would pull away but was rewarded when she slide her arms around Jordan's waist and pulled her softly closer. Jordan was at a loss. She had never felt so much for a woman, had never fallen so hard and so fast. She tried, but she was powerless to stop it. She knew the rules Olivia told her made sense, but at this moment, all she could fell was Olivia. Her lips, her hips, her breasts. Suddenly Jordan needed to know if she was alone in this. She had a felling that Olivia felt the same way, but she had to be sure.

Jordan broke the kiss and regarded Olivia with a look that boarded between cautiously hopeful and desperately lonely.

"Come home with me. I know you feel this thing between us. I can't deny it. I've never felt this way before Olivia." Olivia was at a loss. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to go with Jordan, god she wanted that more than anything else right now. But that little voice in her head kept yelling at her to walk away.

She was about to say no when Jordan's eyes got that haunted look again, like she had already given up and was waiting for Olivia to say no. Olivia had never seem the strong, tough detective look so vulnerable. She meet Jordan's gaze and nodded "yes". She watched Jordan's eyes regain some light to their dark depths and stood, following her to the street. The voice inside her head yelled at her one last time, and with all she had, she yelled louder "Shut Up".


	7. New lead

**I know this chapter is kind of long and boring but it sets up the scene for what is coming next which is a lot of action. That chapter should be up by this weekend. I hope you enjoy.**

Olivia opened her eyes to the dark, shadowy room before her. Small streaks of light from the city around them gave the only interruption to the dark space. Turning her head just slightly Olivia could see the outline of Jordan's features in the pale moonlight.

Even in sleep she looked strong, tough, like she was ready and waiting for a fight. A true soldier. Her body spoke her stories with each scar. Olivia absently traced some of the ones she could see, always going back and retracing the one on Jordan's neck. Burying deeper into the warm body next to her Olivia sighed in contentment for the first time in what seemed like forever to her.

"You ok?"

Olivia lifted up her head and meet Jordan's soft glare. She hadn't even realized she was awake. She thought for a moment about the question. There was so much wrong with what they were doing. They were partners and needed to keep a professional relationship, not a person one. Not to mention the fact that Olivia was braking her own biggest rule. Still, memories from their passion just a few hours before kept coming back into her mind. Sighing in both defeat and acceptance she replied

"Perfect." Then as an after thought added

"But we need to be careful Jordan. This could get us both fired."

Jordan tightened her hold around Olivia's waist and whispered softly into her hair

"I can be careful."

A smile touched Olivia's features as she turned to into Jordan, molding their bodies together again. Gently she took Jordan's lips with her own. Then quickened the pace as she slide her hand to cup the small, firm breasts just under the sheet. Jordan moaned at the contact and reached a hand into Olivia's hair.

"Not tired?" she asked. Olivia shook her head and leaned into her again

"Not at all."

xXxXx

"Hey guys I think I might have something." Detective John Munch said as he shuffled papers together on his desk. After grabbing a few select sheets he made his way over to Olivia's desk.

Jordan looked up from her file as the seasoned, but still as sharp as ever, detective approached.

"What've you got Munch, anything good?" Olivia asked. She tossed her pen onto the desk and ran her hands threw her hair. So far, this case sucked. Two dead woman, tons of DNA and fingerprints, but no suspect and nothing to connect the girls.

"Maybe. I've been going over the calls in their cell phone log. Only one number appears on both logs, and a lot at that. Whatever number this is both of our Vic's called it quit often."

"Thanks John, what's the number." Jordan asked. Finally a lead. At this point she didn't care how small it was. They needed some kind of break. It had been almost a week and a half since the second girl was killed and they still had nothing. She copied down the number that John relayed to her and then did a quick internet search.

"Hey Liv check this out. That number belongs to a counseling center on the corner of 7th street and Ave. A."

"Well looks like we got our first real lead, lets go check it out."

Jordan and Olivia were almost to the door when Capt. Cragen's voice called out to them.

"Our new ADA will be here later on today. If you can try to make it back by 3:00pm."

"Sure Capt. We shouldn't be gone that long." Olivia called out. Walking to the car she threw the keys over to Jordan and smiled.

"You drive this time."

Jordan just smiled back and got behind the wheel of the drab old model ford. Police issue cars never had any perks, they were always old and always plain.

"So you up for dinner later?" Jordan asked. She quickly glanced in Olivia's direction before starting up the car. They had been seeing each other almost every night for the past week and Jordan still didn't really know how things stood between them. One day Olivia is fine with everything, the next she is reluctant and distant. _I guess that's women for you. They always know how to drive you crazy._

"Sure, if we can. If this center leads to a break I'm not going to drop it. We've been waiting to long for this." Olivia replied.

"I know what you mean, but you still got to eat sometime. You are cute when your all wrapped up in stuff though." Jordan joked playfully. Olivia just smiled and leaned back into the seat. This thing she had with Jordan was starting to scare her a little. Never before had she felt so at home with someone. Like they could just talk and laugh for hours. In fact they had done just that, along with some other activities, just this past weekend. If they kept this up Olivia wasn't so sure they would be able to keep their relationship a secret. For once in her life Olivia really didn't know how she felt about that, and that was what scared her the most.

"We're here." Jordan shut off the ignition and exited the car. The neighborhood was rough to say the least. Scanning the buildings she finally spotted a sign that read EAST VILLAGE COUNSELING CENTER

"That's it right there." Jordan said pointing in the direction of the building. They crossed the street and walked to the door that displayed the sign indicating the center. Jordan reached for the handle and held it open for Olivia. She smiled and walked past Jordan into a small dimly lit room with just a desk and another door on the far right wall.

They woman behind the desk looked up as the two detectives walked in. She was an older woman who looked to be in her late 50's or early 60's with wavy gray hair and friendly blue eyes.

"Hello, welcome to the East Village Counseling Center, my name is Ann how can I help you." The older woman asked.

"Hi, I'm Detective Benson, this is my partner Detective Aurora, we have some questions we'd like to ask. Could you call the person in charge of this center?" Olivia replied.

Ann paused for a second as if she were debating asking another question, then thought better of it and picked up the phone on her desk.

"Hello, Linda. There are some detectives here to see you." A pause "No they didn't say what they wanted." Another pause "Ok I'll send them in." Ann replaced the phone back in it's cradle then stood and motioned for the door.

"Follow me please detectives."

Jordan and Olivia followed Ann threw the other door in the room that lead to a long hallway full of doors on both sides. Jordan let Olivia lead and kept scanning the doors in front of them, always listening for any sound from the ones behind. Even though this wasn't a battle zone or an emergency situation Jordan couldn't help reacting as if it way. Years of training and combat, plus her years in Tactical had made it impossible for her to be passive, even when just walking down a hallway. If she was anywhere unfamiliar, she was always on alert.

They came to rest at the last door on the left. Where as all the other doors had nothing to identify them this one had a small gold plank stuck to the door that read "Linda Onyx"

Ann knocked twice then opened the door for Olivia and Jordan. The room was small, just a little bigger then the entry room. Behind the desk sat a woman probably the same age as Ann, but with bright red hair and strong hazel eyes.

"Hello detectives. I'm Linda Onyx. How can I help you?"

Miss Onyx do you know two women by the names Veronica Taylor and Lindsay West?" Olivia asked. She and Jordan both pulled out small notepads and keep their eyes on Ms Onyx.

"Yes, they are both volunteer counselors here, but I haven't seen them in a few weeks. Why, has something happened?" Linda's voice grew weary as she eyed the detectives sitting in front of her.

"I'm sorry Ms. Onyx. They were both murdered."

xXxXx

Both Jordan and Olivia slumped into their chairs, sighing heavily.

"Anything at the center?" Detective Elliot Stabler asked from his desk.

"They both volunteered there. We have no idea if they helped the same people or not. Woman wouldn't give us a list of names. Saying patient confidentiality. Their volunteers, not doctors." Olivia said, her voice rising just a bit. Jordan just smiled from across her desk. Olivia looked so sexy when she got all worked up over something. Olivia caught Jordan smiling and briefly let a smile touch her own face.

Just was Olivia was about to comment further when Capt. Cragen walked in with a strikingly beautiful blond woman next to him. Everyone fell silent.

"Everyone this is our new ADA Jessica Santiago." Then he began reciting the names of everyone while pointing "Elliot Stabler and his partner Fin Tutoula. Over there is John Munch, and that's Olivia Benson and her partner Jordan Aurora."

Jordan looked at the woman standing before her. Her hair was cut just above shoulder length and obviously professionally styled. Hard emerald green eyes stared back at her from deep eye sockets. Her skin was milky white in it's color leading Jordan to wonder about her last name, which clearly had other origins.

After everyone nodded their hello's Jessica addressed the group.

"Hello, as Capt. Cragen just said my name is Jessica Santiago, but feel free to call me Jessie. I look forward to working with all of you so feel free to come to me whenever you need something and I'll do my best to see that it gets done."

With that she turned her attention back to Capt. Cragen and everyone else began to resume their work. After only a few moment Jordan realized Olivia's gaze was still fixed on her and looked up.

"You were checking her out weren't you?" Olivia asked. Jordan never hesitated in her answer.

"No I really wasn't, I was just wondering how she got a last name like that. She's like bed sheet white. Besides why would I be checking anyone out when I can just look at you." Jordan whispered that last part and Olivia blushed a little. She playfully swatted Jordan's arm with her file folder and laughed.

"Nice answer."

"It's the truth." Jordan replied. Olivia could hear the fierce conviction in her voice. She smiled again and stood up.

"I'm getting coffee, want any?" She asked.

"Nah I'm good, thanks." Jordan said, returning her gaze back to the notes spread across her desk.

Olivia grabbed her mug and headed over to the coffee machine. Elliot was already there mixing his own cup. Olivia turned and regarded the man she had been partnered with for more years then she could count.

"How bad is it?" she said, pointing to the coffee sitting in the pot. Eliot took a sip, winced a little, then replied

"Not that bad, could be worse. Probably will be in a few hours."

Olivia poured some of the steaming liquid into her cup and then set about adding milk to it.

"So how long have you been sleeping with Jordan?" Elliot asked, his voice conversational. Olivia nearly spilt her coffee all other the both of them.

"Why in the world would you think something like that?" Olivia asked. Elliot just laughed softly.

"Liv I've known you longer than almost anyone else I've worked with. We've been partners for over nine years. I know you. Plus I see the way the two of you look at each other. That and the fact I thought you were going to tackle down our new ADA when she walked in and Jordan looked at her."

Olivia stared back speechless. What could she say. She couldn't lie to Elliot. Finally she sighed and looked up at him.

"Almost two weeks."

"That's great Liv. I'm happy for you. Just, you should probably kept it under wraps from Cragen." Elliot said.

"That's the plan." Olivia interjected. She turned her head as she felt Jordan approach them.

"Hey I just talked to Jessie and she said that we should be able to get a warrant for the list at the counseling center. Since they were just volunteers and not real doctors there is no doctor/patient privileges." Jordan said. She thought she saw Elliot smile at her and was going to comment when Olivia broke threw

"That's great, did she say when she could get the warrant?"

"Said in a hour, maybe two at the most." Jordan replied. She choose her next words carefully as Elliot moved to go take a seat back at his desk.

"So I was thinking lunch. The warrant should be ready by the time we get back."

"I guess I can manage lunch." Olivia said with a smile.


	8. Confrontation

**Here's Chapter 8 hope you enjoy.**

**The only character I own is Jordan Aurora, all others belong to Dick Wolf and NBC**

"Anything yet?" Jordan asked as she leafed threw another list of names from the counseling center. Her and Olivia had gone there straight from lunch and picked up the lists of names of all the people their two victims had helps and all the groups within the center that they belonged to. At first Linda wouldn't give up the list but when Elliot showed up with their warrant she had no choice. Now herself, Olivia, and Elliot all sat at their desks trying to match a name to both lists.

"No, Veronica mainly helped kids who were gay and lesbian. Lindsay helped kids who had been abused. Nothing matches." Olivia sighed.

"Wait, I think I might have something." Elliot exclaimed. Both Jordan and Olivia's head shot up at his statement and they rushed his desk.

"What is it?" Olivia asked. She glanced down at the paper in his hands trying to see what he had.

"This guy, his name is Derik Henze. He in at least one group of each of the victims plus he signed up for individual peer counseling with both of them." Elliot replied.

_A name, finally we have a name. _

"Is there an address listed for him?" Jordan asked, her eyes returning to the sheets of paper spread out all over her and Olivia's desks. Olivia sprinted to her desk and began shuffling the papers around looking for the one that contained the address lists.

"Here" she said holding up the paper. "Derik Hanze, 25847 Avenue D apt. 5. Lets go pay this guy a visit." Olivia said. She grabbed her jacket and ran out the door with Jordan following close on her heels.

XxXxX

The car careened to a stop just outside the old building with the barely visible 25847 handling on the side. Jordan gave a shudder as she looked around Alphabet City, the name most people gave to the part in the East Village were Avenue's A, B, C, and D were located. When she was still a member of the S.W.A.T. team she had been called down here only once. It was a time she would never forget though. The people broke into a riot at one of the rallies and somehow the streets around her had turned into a war zone. Her and Torra had to dodge flying objects and help people that had been trampled. Then all hell broke lose as the sounds of gun fire filled the air.

Jordan shook her head trying to dispel the memory. Olivia watched Jordan's face take on the strong, hard look that reminded her so much of a warrior.

"You ok?" Olivia asked gently. She had a feeling Jordan was remembering something that wasn't at all pleasant.

"Yeah" Jordan sighed "Just remembering the last time I was here. It wasn't pretty. There was a riot and my unit was right in the middle."

"You mean the Alphabet riots, I read about that in the paper. They said it was pretty bad."

"It wasn't at first until people started shooting at the cops. Then all hell just broke lose and five people died." Jordan replied. Olivia watched as that haunted look crossed Jordan's features just briefly. Deciding that a subject change was in order Olivia looked at the building looming in front of them.

"This is the place. Let's see what Mr. Henze has to say."

Jordan smiled at Olivia obvious attempt to shy away from the topic they had found themselves discussing. She was glad though, because reliving that experience was not something she wanted to do.

"Sounds good to me."

They made their way down the narrow hallway until they came to Apt. 5. Just as Jordan was about to knock they heard glass breaking and a women scream. _No Stop your hurting me_

Jordan slammed her side into the door, breaking it down in the one fluid motion she had done countless times before. As her and Olivia entered they saw a woman laying on the floor, blood seeping from a cut on her forehead. Olivia moved quickly to her side.

"Ma'am I'm Detective Benson, are you hurt anywhere besides your head?"

"No, I don't think so." the woman replied shakily.

Jordan was already racing toward the window she had seen the man climb out of. She turned back to Olivia and screamed

"Call for backup, I'm going after him."

"Jordan…" the rest of Olivia's replied died as she watched Jordan leap out the window and start down the narrow alleyway behind the building.

Jordan tore down the long alleyway as adrenaline coursed threw her veins, bringing every cell in her body alive. She easily jumped or dodged the debris littering her path never stopping or slowing to regain her footing. The wind blew like ice against her skin but she couldn't feel it. They only sensations that penetrated her brain were the swift turn of the prep and the shinning piece of black steel in his hand.

She heard the shots as she dove down under a row of boxes that lined the right wall of the alley.

_pop pop_

Then the footsteps began again and she rose, speeding down once more on the thin man in front of her. She didn't think she had been hit by any of his bullets. She felt no pain and her breathing, although she was running at full speed, was even and controlled. Even her heart rate, she knew, had barely risen. Years of sniper training in the Marines had thought her to control her bodies natural responses to fear and exhilaration.

_pop pop pop_

"Fuck" Jordan roared threw clenched teeth. Hitting the ground hard she slammed her body against the wall to block the shower of bullets as two more flew by her face. She shot off two rounds in the direction the first shots came from. This guy obviously didn't want to be caught.

Glancing back down the alley she just caught sight of his jacket as he disappeared into one of the abandoned warehouses that lined the alley on the right side.

By the time she reached the door he was out of her sight.

"Derik Hanze This is the Police. Come out with your hands up!" she shouted into the desolate space. She could hear his answering laughter floating threw the room. It was a menacing voice, like so many voices she had heard in her years in Lebanon and Kuwait. The sound of someone who didn't care wither they lived or died, and who they took with them if they did fall.

Holding her automatic with two steady hands Jordan moved forward. Always with her back to the wall or the high stacks of old, decomposing boxes that created makeshift lanes in the open space. Her step was steady, her mind completely clear. She had been here so many times before, death just inches away. Scanning the area all around her she caught a flicker of light and raised her weapon in the direction, ready to fire if need be.

Olivia ran as fast as he legs would take her down the long, narrow alleyway. Glancing inside each door she come across she still couldn't find Jordan. Her heart beat wildly in her chest and her hands shook where they held her weapon.

_Oh God if anything happens to her I don't know what I'll do._

Just as she reached the second to last door she heard the loud sounds of gun fire erupt from behind the last door in the row. She double timed it down the alley and pulled at the door with all she had. The sight before her eyes acted in slow motion, as if she could only watch the events unfold before her eyes. A man stood with a gun trained on Jordan, who mirrored his stance with a hard, cold stare that could only be deadly in its intent. Then the man turned his gun directly at her.

Jordan heard the door swing open as Olivia bolted threw. Her heart lurched as she saw the hand that held the man's gun point straight at Olivia.

"OLIVIA" Jordan shouted as she dove in front of her, the same moment James Henze pulled the trigger of his small caliber pistol. Pain shot threw Jordan's arm but she blocked her mind to it.

Rising both hands as high as she could she shot off two rounds directly at her target. She was trained as a sniper, as a sharpshooter, as a soldier. She didn't need to look to see if James was dead. She knew, and as she closed her eyes and finally gave into the pain she didn't even look in the direction.

"Oh God Jordan" Olivia yelled. She stripped off her jacket and wrapped it around Jordan's arm, stopping the blood. Memories of when Alex was shot crashed into her brain without warning and she gasped at the onslaught.

Finally she heard sirens and relayed her position to the other officers outside. Then she returned both hands to Jordan's injury, trying in vain to stop the blood.

XxXxX

"Ow, will you stop that, shit."

Olivia shook her head and chuckled softly. "God you are such a baby."

"I am not I just hate stitches, I've had way to many." Jordan complained. Olivia just stared at her. There had been so much blood it amazed her that they bullet just scraped her.

"You scared the living hell out of me you know." Olivia said. She now wore a pair of hospital issue scrubs, having shed her regular clothes since they were covered with Jordan's blood.

With her hair windblown and unruly and her body outlined just so in the hospital scrubs Jordan couldn't help but think that Olivia was the most beautiful person she had ever laid eyes on. Her memory drifted back to the warehouse and she could still see Henze's gun turn toward Olivia. At that moment Jordan's heart rate shot threw the roof. It was such an unusual feeling that Jordan thought she was having a heart attack at first. The only thing she could think to do was jump in front of Olivia, unmindful that she would most likely be the one to shoulder the bullet. She could still feel the pain shoot threw her left arm, could smell the steel and blood mixing in the air. And then, all she could remember was the pain.

"You ok?" Olivia asked as the nurse finished cleaning the wound and left the room, leaving them alone for the first time since the shooting. Olivia hadn't missed the dark look Jordan's eyes had taken. She saw the light grey turn an almost black color, the same deadly color Jordan's eyes had been when she looked at Henze.

"Yeah, I've been shot before. Usually a lot worse than this." Jordan said trying to put a lighter tone into her voice.

"That bullet was meant for me you know." Olivia whispered. It was a sound so faint that Jordan almost didn't hear it.

"I know." It was all that needed to be said. All that could be said. Olivia felt what was left of her defenses crumble at her feet. What she felt, what she saw in Jordan's eyes. It was all so much, too much. There was only one word for it, only one thing to call all the feelings she had inside her.

_Love_

She was falling in love with Jordan Aurora. That sudden realization took her by storm and set off every warning bell she had in her head.

"I…I have to go give my statement. I'll see you later." Olivia said. She turned so fast she almost fell on her shaky feet, and walked out the door. She didn't look back even when she heard Jordan try to protest.

Olivia didn't stop walking till she reached the door to her apartment. She unlocked the door and fell onto the couch, crying uncontrollably.

_Oh God I'm in love with her. What am I going to do?_


	9. Angry Decision

Olivia looked up as Jordan walked briskly into the squad room. She looked down fast as their eyes briefly meet. She had been avoiding Jordan or the last three weeks while she had been on medical leave. Even when Jordan had come to her apartment and stood knocking on the door for twenty minutes she pretended not to be home, even though they both knew that wasn't true. Olivia just couldn't face her. That would mean she would have to face her feelings for Jordan, and that she couldn't even begin to think about. Now though, looking at the strong, almost arrogant detective Olivia couldn't help but be captivated by her all over again.

Jordan ignored Olivia as she made her way to Captain Cragen's office. Knocking once she made her way inside and addressed her superior.

"Good morning Captain, you wanted to see me." Jordan said, politely nodding at him. Cragen smiled, motioning with him hand for Jordan to take a seat.

"Nice job with the Henze guy. I don't know if anyone has told you but his DNA and fingerprints came back a match to the two crimes. By the way, how's the arm?"

"It's good. I've been officially cleared for duty starting today." Jordan said with a smile. She needed to get back to word. Sitting in her apartment was starting to drive her crazy, that and the fact that Olivia hadn't even spoken to her since she ran out of the hospital that day. Jordan was hurt yes, but more than anything she was confused. Olivia gave no reason or warning, she just shut Jordan out of her life.

"Alright Jordan, good to have you back. Olivia can fill you in on the latest case." Cragen said. Standing up he nodded at Jordan as she made her way out of the small office and back into the squad room. The girl was tough, that was for sure. Not many people who get shot are trying to come back to work the next day. If the leave wasn't mandatory he knew Jordan would have never taken the time off.

Jordan made her way to her desk, saying hello to the other detectives as she past them.

"Looking good Aurora." Elliot called out. Jordan just smiled and nodded her thanks to him. Sitting down at her desk she carefully avoided Olivia face when she spoke.

"So what have we got?" Olivia just handed her the file she had been trying in vain to read. Jordan looked over the report quickly, noting the most important parts and storing them in her memory. The case didn't interest her, it should, but it didn't. She couldn't help but feel like she was choking. Olivia was sitting right in from of her and near had really even spoken.

Finally, after an hour of awkward silence Jordan had had enough. Standing quickly enough to get Olivia's attention, but not enough for everyone in the room to really pay her any mind she whispered harshly to Olivia

"I need to talk to you now, follow me." Jordan turned and speed out the doors of the squad room without another word, leaving Olivia to either follow or stay behind.

Olivia sighed and grabbed her coat, slipping it on as she followed Jordan our of the precinct and into the busy streets of New York City.

"You want to tell me what the fuck is going on." Jordan asked, a harsh, almost hurt tone to her voice.

"You won't talk to me, you have been ignoring my calls, and don't even try to deny it. Plus the other day, I know you were home. What the fuck Olivia?"

This Olivia was not expecting. She knew Jordan would be made but she didn't think she would be this hurt. She could tell just by her voice that she was hurting and it broke Olivia's heart to think she was the cause of that pain.

"Jordan, we can't do this. We are partners. We can't. I can't. I'm sorry." Olivia stammered.

"That's bullshit and you know it. What if I transferred out then, would that make everything ok then?" Jordan spat. At Olivia's growing silence she added

"I didn't think so. What are you so afraid of?" Jordan asked. She knew that's what it was. Olivia was afraid, and Jordan wanted to know of what.

"_You_" Olivia said. The words can so quietly and so suddenly that Olivia wasn't sure if she had just thought the word or if she had actually said it. Jordan stopped dead in her tracks, letting Olivia know that she had indeed said that out loud.

Turning to face Olivia, Jordan locked glances with her, completely unmindful of the people trying to get around them. Her eyes were the lightest color grey Olivia had ever seen, reminding her of snow falling on a cloudy day. Saddened though, Olivia noticed the lack of the blue that always sparkled it Jordan's eyes when she looked at her.

"Why, why do I scare you?" Jordan asked. Finally annoyed with the people trying to push their way threw them, Jordan moved her and Olivia back against a small nook in the side of the large office building next to them.

Olivia shook from head to toe, trying hard to keep the walls she had spent the last three weeks building to stay in place. It was a useless fight. All Jordan had to do was look at her and she broke all of them. Her eyes were so soft upon Olivia's body it felt like a caress. Only after a few seconds did Olivia realize that Jordan was caressing her, rubbing her hands slowly up and down Olivia shaking arms.

"Tell me." Jordan whispered.

"You, you make me feel things that I never thought I would feel Jordan. When I'm with you, everything just seems…right." Olivia confessed.

"So what's so wrong with feeling that way?" Jordan asked. She couldn't believe the words Olivia was saying to her. Jordan had been so nervous, thinking she was the only one of them feeling that there was something real growing between them.

"Everything." Olivia spat, the words coming out much harsher then Olivia intended. She tried to soften her next words, but she could see Jordan temper start to flare up just beneath her skin.

"Jordan, I told you, we are partners. We have to work together and so we can't have a personal relationship. I should have never let things get as far as they have. I'm sorry but I, we just can't."

"Fine, run away. It's not like it's the first time I've had someone run out on me, I'll just add your name to the list." Jordan said, almost yelling the words. She couldn't take it. It was always the same, the lies, the half truths that everyone told her to try and protect her. She didn't need protecting, not from any one, especially Olivia Benson.

"I'll see you tomorrow Detective Benson." she spat, the words coming out like venom from a snake. Turning, Jordan walked off into the crowd and quickly disappeared into the late day rush, leaving Olivia standing after her.

_What have I just done?_ Holding her head in her hands, Olivia felt the tears that threatened to break the surface. Quickly replacing her pain for anger, Olivia straightened herself and stormed off in the direction of her apartment.

_Fuck it, why do I even care!_

XxXxX

Jordan wrapped lightly on closed door, hoping that the Captain was still in. It was past five but she had to try. To her great relief she heard the man behind the door say "Come in." Turning the door knob she walked into the seemingly cozy office of the Homicide Captain's office. It was set up much like Cragen's office with the exception that the desk seemed to be hidden under piles and piles of case files, thrown all across the top of the old wooden desktop.

Captain Malcolm Williams looked steadily at Jordan, wondering what she was doing in his office, and so late in the day at that.

"Captain I was just wondering if that offer was still available sir." Jordan asked. The whole way over here she had been thinking of their conversation they had just a week after her shooting.

_Jordan made her way threw to the doors of the SVU squad room and into the hall. She was pissed. They were making her take another two weeks medical leave. She felt fine, she didn't need two more weeks off. _

"_Excuse me, Detective Aurora?" Jordan turned to see a tall, middle aged man in a nicely tailored grey suit. His hair was a short, rich black with just the first hints of grey spreading over, and his eyes were a crystal clear blue. A tall, lean build helped convey that he was older, but certainly not out of shape. Jordan had never seen this man before_ and hoped to god with_ was not some shrink her to try to get her to "talk about her feeling" about the shooting._

"_Yes" She responded, locking eyes with the man in front of her. _

"_I'm Captain Malcolm Williams of Homicide. I heard about your last case, or should I say your first, congratulations." _

_Jordan nodded her thanks and waited for him to continue. She knew a Captain wouldn't go to all the trouble of finding her just to say congrads on getting the bad guy, there was more, there was always more._

_As if on cue, Captain Williams got right down to the point of the conversation._

"_You're a good Detective Jordan. Plus I took a look at your record, amazing. We could use someone like you down in Homicide. There is an opening if you are interested in it."_

"_Thank you for the offer sir but at this time I must decline, I am very happy with Special Victims at the moment." Jordan said. _

"_ok, well if you change your mind you know where to find me."_

"_Yes sir." Jordan said, shaking the Homicide Captain's hand._

"Of course it is." Captain Williams said with a huge smile on his face.

"Let me get the paper work in order and we should have everything finalized by late Wednesday."

Jordan nodded, wishing it could be done sooner. She couldn't stay in SVU, she couldn't stay around Olivia. She had let her in, let her get close, something she hadn't done in, well, almost fourteen years. Jordan cursed herself for letting things get so far so fast. She knew better. But when it came to Olivia, she just always seemed to lose her head.

After shaking hands with the man who was going to be her new Captain Jordan made her way to her desk to pick up the few personal things she had left.

Making her way in the now near dark room Jordan heard a faint noise come from behind her. Hand on her weapon, breathing even and calm, Jordan turned slowly, all the while running threw every possible scenario of what might come next. In a deserted alley in New York, In the ruins of a city in Kuwait, or even in her own squad room instinct always told Jordan to few anything that had the possibility for danger as if that danger were going to happen.

Jordan smiled as she saw Captain Cragen walk out of his office and lock the door. He didn't really looked that surprised to see her and Jordan figured he had seen her and Olivia working late on countless nights before the shooting. Smiling slightly she walked up to him.

"Hello Captain, I didn't think you worked this late?" Jordan commented calmly, no sarcasm in her voice.

"I was just finishing up a report for the brass. I got an interesting fax from Captain Williams over in Homicide though, know anything about that?" Captain Cragen asked, one eyebrow slightly raised.

"Yes sir, I do. I just finished speaking with him. Two weeks ago he offered me a position over in Homicide. I told him I needed to think about it. I have just recently came to my decision, I was hoping I would be about to tell you first personally. I'm sorry you had to hear it this way." Jordan stated.

"Well Jordan if that's what you wan to do I wish you the best of luck. It was a pleasure working with you."

"Thank you Sir."

Jordan watched the Captain walk down the hall and to the elevator. She turned, taking one last look at the squad room and, at Olivia's desk. She was making the right decision, the only decision. If Olivia wasn't ready, if she couldn't handle it then Jordan couldn't push. But she also couldn't be around Olivia and just be her coworker.

Jordan sighed, then picked up her bag and walked out of the room.

XxXxX

Olivia walked into the squad room and was surprised to see Elliot sitting at his old desk, Jordan's desk. Making her way over she sat down in her chair and regarded the man sitting in from of her.

"What's up?" She asked.

"Nothing, I guess Jordan wanted to join the boys over in Homicide, she transferred out last night." Elliot said matter-of-factly. Then he looked at Olivia and lowered his voice so no one would hear

"Did something happen with you two, I know you were kind of dating."

"No Elliot, we weren't." Olivia snapped. "Just drop it ok." She broke his gaze and looked at her desk, willing the words not to be true. Jordan had really transferred out. Yeah, she said something about it yesterday when they were fighting, but Olivia thought it was just something said in the heat of an argument.

_Guess I was wrong_

"You know Liv, if you want to talk I'm here for you." Elliot said, ignoring Olivia's wish for him to drop it. Olivia sighed. She was in no mood to fight with Elliot, and the thought of finding some words to her problems seemed like a good idea. After a few more minutes of silence Olivia finally spoke

"How about we grab a drink after work, I know I could use one."

"Deal" Elliot replied.

**Meanwhile over in the Homicide Squad room**

Jordan made her way threw the narrow walkway filled with desks, chairs and boxes all thrown haphazardly around the rather large room. Finally, after almost falling a few times Jordan made it to Captain William's door. She knocked once then entered when she heard him call to her.

"Good morning Jordan, have a seat." Captain Williams said. Jordan sat and looked up at her new Captain.

After Captain Williams finished his welcome speech and laid out all the ground rules he lead Jordan out into the main room and introduced her to the other Detectives she would be working with. Three were men, Michael Straton, Thomas Collins, Straton's partner, and Toby Jennings. Two were women, Alice Marks, Jennings's partner and Joel Santiago. Jordan followed the Captain over to Joel's desk.

"Jordan Aurora I'd like you to meet Joel Santiago, your new partner."

Jordan shook hands with the clean cut, boyish detective, all the while wishing she could see Olivia.

_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, now I don't even have an excuse to see her._

_I miss her. _both Jordan, sitting at her new desk in Homicide and Olivia, sitting at her desk in SVU thought together.


	10. War, Fighting, Sex and Pizza

**Disclaimer: The only character I own is Jordan Aurora. All others belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.**

A/N: This chapter earns this stories M rating.

_The explosion rocks the ground as Jordan ducks under a charred car. The smell of gunpowder, sulfur, blood and bullets fill the air. There is screaming somewhere and Jordan can't tell if it's one of hers or one of theirs. _

"_Aurora over here, take cove__r NOW!" a man yells. Jordan hit's the ground hard, bullets zipping past her head and shoulders. _

"_Fall out men, get back to the tanks, hurry." The smoke is so thick Jordan can barely tell were the tanks are. Turning she fires off a few rounds in the direction the rockets are flying from. Empting her clip she turns and runs in the direction she hopes is right, her army fatigues weighing heavily in the impossible heat of the desert. _

_More screaming, this time it sounds like a woman. Looking up Jordan can only watch as the blue sky is swallowed up by the thick black smoke. From behind she can hear the enemy yelling in their language, they sound calm, deadly calm. "This mush be hell" is the only thought Jordan can think as the sound of guns and screams fill the air around her. _

_Two more explosions rock the ground and throw Jordan forward. The air around her quickly becoming engulfed in bullets. There's blood, too much blood. It won't stop there's…_

Jordan dashes up, almost falling completely off her bed. Struggling to orient herself with where she is she hears the noise. A loud banging coming from her door. Glancing at the alarm clock confirms what she thought to be true.

_3:56 in the morning, who the hell? _

Pealing off the sweat soaked sheets Jordan grabs her automatic from the bedside table and begins walking with shaky legs to the door.

"Who is it?" Jordan asks, her breathing calm, her tone firm. Nothing showing that she had just been awakened from a terrible nightmare that, nearly ten years ago had been all to real.

"Open the God damn door Jordan." Olivia's voice called from the other side. Jordan quickly undid the locks and swung the door open to admit the brown eyed detective waiting in the hall way. Olivia strode quickly inside and waited for Jordan to close the door before she unleashed the angry that had been slowly growing inside her all day long.

"What the fuck was that about, I tell you that we can't keep screwing each other so you go and transfer out. God you are a piece of work Aurora. You should have at least had the balls to tell me yourself, instead you just go off and leave. Not one fucking word just…gone."

Olivia blew out a frustrated breath threw her nostrils and stared at Jordan. She hadn't really looked at her when she had walked into the apartment. Her only focus had been on releasing the anger that had been building since Elliot told her that Jordan had transferred out. Looking at her now Olivia had to fight the urge to chase the distance between them and just hold Jordan in her arms.

Jordan's skin was a flush, almost white color. A thick layer of sweat coving her body. Her eyes were a deep, soulless black. Olivia had thought it bad when Jordan got that haunted look but this one, this was a look of someone who had seen hell, who had lived in it.

Just as Jordan was about to speak Olivia broke. She knew it was the look in Jordan's eyes that finally did it. It was a look that spoke of unspeakable pain and Olivia couldn't just let her stand there, explaining herself for something that now felt trivial.

"Jordan, I'm sorry. Are you all right, what happened?"

Jordan ran both hands threw her rumpled hair and tried her best to compose herself. The flashback had taken her by surprise. It had been months since the last one happened and she thought they were finally gone. Sighing heavily she realized they would most likely never go away completely.

Finally rising her eyes to the woman standing just inches from her she replied, her voice so low Olivia had to practically read her lips.

"Nothing it was just a stupid flashback." Jordan replied. She tried to smile reassuringly but it didn't even resemble a smirk.

"Jordan don't lie to me, what's wrong?" Olivia asked.

Jordan backed away from Olivia and walked quickly to the window. The sites of the city at night usually always had a calming affect on her, but tonight it felt like nothing could right the wrongs in her life. Anger quickly replaced pain, a mask Jordan had learned to form in the army.

Spinning around fast and facing Olivia in the dark apartment Jordan spat

"What the fuck is it to you what's wrong with me. We're not partners, we're not lovers. We are nothing, you made that perfectly clear the other day. Now you want to come to my apartment in the middle of the night to bitch about how I wanted to be reassigned. You shouldn't even fucking care!"

The words cut right to Olivia's core. She knew they were true, well most of them were. The part about not caring wasn't though. Olivia had spent the better part of the day asking herself why she was letting Jordan walk out of her life. She tried putting it a million different ways but it always came out the same. She was scared, she was running because she was falling in love with Jordan.

Quickly Olivia's temper resurfaced, and she screamed back at Jordan, trying not to let her see how much her words had hurt.

"Fine, fuck you then. I just wanted to see what it was about me that made you have to transfer, I guess now I know. If you can't get what you want you just leave."

"Oh that's right, I'm the one trying to walk away from all of this. You're the one that said she couldn't do it anymore. What was the real reason behind that decision, huh Olivia. Was it that you didn't want to get in trouble like you said or was it because you didn't want to face your own feelings?"

"Fuck you Jordan, you don't know the first thing about me."

"So enlighten me, why did you break it off after I was shot. It wasn't even bad but I guess you just didn't want to be with damaged goods. Is that it, huh!?" Jordan's voice was booming in Olivia's ears. Suddenly that day came back to her.

Olivia was standing just inside the doorway, watching as a madman had a gun trained on Jordan. Then he was turning his gun on her and Jordan was diving in front so the bullet would miss Olivia. Then Jordan was on the floor and there was so much blood.

"Huh, Olivia, answer ME!!" Jordan shouted.

"No, that's not why I broke it off. I did it because I'm falling in love with you, you stupid bitch!!" Olivia shouted. The words were out before she even had time to realize what she was saying. In one rare moment Olivia let her feelings take her completely over, leaving nothing to hid behind.

At the look of utter shock on Jordan's face Olivia quickly made for the door. She needed to leave. She couldn't stay here another minute after having said all that she had said.

"Sorry, I…I have to go." Olivia stammered out as she gripped the door handle. Jordan placed one strong hand on the door, holding it closed.

Olivia looked up into Jordan's eyes, they were a smoky color. One that hinted at a desire so deep, so passionate that words failed to describe it.

Jordan's lips crossed the small distance that separated their bodies, bring her breasts and hips crashing into Olivia's. The groan that escaped Olivia's mouth set Jordan's body on fire. With one hand holding Olivia's neck Jordan worked the other one to the bottom of her shirt, tugging it until she felt the material separate from her jeans.

Olivia threw her hands on Jordan's breasts, feeling them swell beneath the confines of her t-shirt. At Jordan's answering moan Olivia braced both hands on the soft cotton shirt and pulled it over Jordan's head in one swift motion. Greedy eyes took in the sight of Jordan's naked chest, bathed in the moonlight. Her breasts, small but firm, called out to Olivia. Begging to be touched, to be suckled.

Olivia broke away from Jordan's lips, returning them to her neck and working her way down until she can to the beautiful nipple.

Jordan felt Olivia's hot mouth enclose on her nipple and she groaned, her hands reaching up and undoing the clasp that held Olivia bra. She felt Olivia shove her up against the wall and used it to steady herself. Slipping her leg in between Olivia's, Jordan pressed hard against her center, felling how hot and hard she was. Olivia's legs trembled at the contact. Jordan took the opportunity to push Olivia back and quickly shed her shirt and bra.

Both women stood up against Jordan's wall, naked from the waist up. Their lips fused back together as their hands roamed over one another's body. Jordan's hands traveled to the zipper on Olivia's jeans. Just as she was about to pull down she felt Olivia's hands cover her own. Looking up she saw all the desire in her eyes. The soft, chocolate brown was now replaced with a smoky black look. Jordan could see the fire in them, she knew her own must be a mirror image.

"Bedroom…Now." Olivia managed threw her quick intakes of breath. It was all the instruction Jordan needed. Grabbing Olivia's arm, she quickly lead them threw her living room and down the hall to the last door on the right.

As soon as they crossed the doorway Jordan had her hands back at Olivia's zipper, only this time Olivia was mirroring her act. Their lips meeting again in a frenzied kiss they worked each other out of the rest of their clothes.

Crawling into bed Jordan climbed on top of Olivia, once again fitting her leg in between Olivia's. She could feel Olivia arousal coating her leg and it was all she could do to keep herself from burying her head down and into Olivia's folds.

"Oh God Jordan, touch me, please I'm so hot right now." Olivia begged. At her moaned plea Jordan lost what little self control she still had. Leaving Olivia's lips she began kissing a path down her neck to her chest, stopping quickly to suck on her nipples, then continuing down.

Gripping her hips, Jordan guided her mouth to Olivia's hot center. Slipping her tongue into the warm, wet folds Jordan brought her fingers up and massaged Olivia's hard clit.

"Oh God, it feels so good." Olivia panted. She could feel her orgasm building. She tried to hold it off a little while longer, enjoying the feeling of Jordan's mouth on her.

"Jordan, oh God Jordan I'm coming." Olivia screamed out as she lost control and her orgasm hit her hard. Jordan felt her bucking and thrashing under her relentless mouth but she didn't stop. Felling Olivia grow wet again Jordan quickly pulled her mouth away, bringing her lips to meet Olivia's as she slowly entered her fingers into the hot center.

Olivia moaned, tasting herself on Jordan as she filled her up inside. Rubbing her hands all over Jordan's body, Olivia slipped her hand between Jordan's legs, finding her hot and wet like she knew she would be. As Jordan kept up her passionate thrusts Olivia entered her, quickly matching Jordan's rhythm.

"Jordan…"

"Olivia…" They both cried each others names as she came hard, their lips meeting and swallowing the rest of their screams.

"That was amazing." Olivia said, snuggling closer to Jordan's warm body.

"Yeah." Jordan replied, "it was."

Finding comfort in one another's arms they sleep.

XxXxX

Olivia smiled to herself as she felt the warmth of Jordan's body next to her on the bed. Opening her eyes she saw the sunlight pouring in threw the windows and highlighting every beautiful curve and muscle that made up Jordan's features. She was so strong, so fierce, like a warrior. Olivia couldn't help but think back to the night before when Jordan had looked so wounded. The look in her eyes was one of unspeakable pain and Olivia suddenly wanted to know what had caused it.

Watching Jordan sleeping so peacefully Olivia couldn't deny how she felt any longer. She was in love with Jordan. Hell she had confessed to it last night. She had been running, she knew. Hiding behind rules to blame for her fears and insecurities. Now she had nothing to hide behind. Jordan was no longer her partner. Still, Olivia was nervous that all Jordan wanted was sex, and as great as the sex was with them Olivia wanted more. She knew she couldn't just be with Jordan every now and then. For the first time in so long Olivia felt herself wanting to have a real relationship with someone.

Jordan opened her eyes to an empty bed. Sitting up quickly she scanned the room for Olivia, fear already telling her that she had left. Grabbing one of her old shirts ESU shirts, Jordan made her way out of the room and down the hall. A quick walk threw the kitchen and living room confirmed what she had thought, Olivia was gone. Sinking down on her couch Jordan tried to think of what to do.

Olivia grabbed a towel off the small rack and dried off her hair. Dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a baggy NYPD t-shirt she tossed the wet towel in the hamper and walked out into the apartment.

"Hey I hope you don't mind, I borrowed a pair of your sweatpants and one of your t-shirts." Olivia said when she saw Jordan slumped on the couch in nothing but a navy blue t-shirt with the letters ESU written in white.

Jordan spun around at the sound of Olivia's voice, an impossibly huge grim on her face.

"I thought you left." Jordan said.

Olivia just smiled at her, looking so beautiful in nothing but a t-shirt.

"Nope, just a shower." Olivia replied. Jordan stood up from the couch and made her way over to Olivia, quickly taking her in her arms. Needing to feel her close. To make sure she was still really there.

"So…where does this leave us?" Jordan asked hesitantly.

Olivia was silent for a few minutes and Jordan began to worry that she had said the wrong thing, but she needed to know. This couldn't just be a passing affair. Not with Olivia. For once Jordan found herself in one of those all or nothing places. Somewhere she swore she would never be.

Finally breaking the silence Olivia spoke up.

"Well, were not partners anymore, and I don't think the brass has anything about two cops dating. So what do you say we go out for pizza tonight."

Jordan smiled as she pulled Olivia closer to her, bringing their foreheads together.

"I'd love to."

XxXxX

Fourteen hours later Olivia found herself sitting across from Jordan in a small East side pizzeria. Jordan, now dressed in dark denim jeans and a tight body hugging dark grey shirt, laughed affectionately as Olivia grabbed for the last slice of their Hawaiian pizza.

"Wow, who would have thought Olivia Benson could pack away so much pizza. I gotta ask though, were the hell does it all go?" Jordan asked. Olivia felt the hot redness flash on her cheeks as she listened to Jordan's comment.

"You know me and El have been trying to figure that out for almost ten years now."

"Wow you guys have been partners that long. I don't even think I've been in a division that long." Jordan replied, grabbing for the last breadstick and breaking it in half. Olivia smiled at Jordan as she placed one of the pieces on her plate.

"Your too sweet." Olivia said. Her eyes looking into Jordan's. She was so glad to see the beautiful blue sparkle was shining amiss the grey backdrop.

"So" Jordan replied seductively, "What would you like for dessert?"

Olivia just licked her lips and smiled, locking eyes with Jordan and conveying everything that needed said.

"Check please."


End file.
